Wanda L. De Coteau

Based upon the experiences of some of my more recent brides Underestimating travel time.

I am based in Groton, Ct . Groton has a fairly decent size population for South Eastern Ct. , n a number of ways we are still a bit like a smaller town. In other ways there are growing pains.

We Are a coastal community and home to the New London Submarine Base & Electric Boat a Submarine Builder. Our Major roadways are US rt1 1, Ct Rt 12, & Ct rt 184. Interstate 95 has several Groton Exits.

Part of “Mystic” is in Groton ( the other part of “Mystic” is in Stonington- the Mystic River is the boundary.

We Are a relatively short drive to the Rhode Islands Border- much depending on road construction and traffic issues . Traffic Issues, there Is Indeed the rub, it seems that the skill/ attention span? patience of drivers and over all road courtesy has been falling by the wayside since the pandemic. Traffic has been worse as have been delays. _ If you are heading this way from a distance Plan Extra Time for delays & drive safely, with patience.

So how far is it- I did 3 City Clerk’s offices to the Town Of Groton Town Clerk ( vital records= Marriage licenses) Office.

Here are the findings according to Google Maps: The Bronx, NY City clerk’s Office to Groton Town Clerk; approx 2 1/2 hour drive & 125 miles 1 way ( with smoothly moving traffic) 4 1/2 hours by bus or Mass Transit ( leaves you in New London then it is a Seat Bus , Uber or Taxi).

From Boston City Hall; between 105 & 120 miles ( depending on the specific route) time for either is about 2 hours and 15 min ( again smooth traffic) Bus- 2 hours and 35 min ( That’s what it said)

Now , just for Fun- Bay Shore Long Island- to take a ferry or not? 90.5 Miles & 2 hours and 49 min taking the ferry from Montauk end ; Or Driving doing Interstate 95, 3 hours and 15 min 159 miles ( traffic ), Bus 6 hours and 18 min. ( Stops and changes I am guessing).

We have some delightful Mom & Pop eating establishments, 2 casinos, and Award winning high end eateries in the region. From Hamburger Hill to Down town Mystic & the Casinos we run the spectrum. Side note- Pizza- I find I much prefer some of the Local Mom & Pop places to some of the Big Name establishments ( I got spoiled on by a Greek Deep Dish served up by a man named Spiro, long since retired- none of the deep crust and counted bits- nope thin to medium soft crust with Stuff) but that is a story for another day.

Be sure to drive safely, plan ahead – don’t believe Google Drive times – give your self a cushion- If you arriver Early you can Breathe and unwind and , in season, grab an ice cream over at DQ across from the Town Hall. next to the Local Hardware store

Many Town Clerk’s Offices in Connecticut have begun requiring Appointments. This helps the couple’s save waiting time. Some of the Town Clerk’s Offices also have an Online Application ( Information) Form, with Links in the Vital Records section of their website- Filling this form out In Advance saves Time, helps ensure the information is accurate. – It Also means Double check the form before submitting Plus Checking the License forms as the Actual marriage license application process is done ( when you are asked to check).

Changes to the Marriage License are Far easier to do Before It Is Issued Than After.

I do Not have any Links for Any Town Clerks’ offices on this web site , because Those links are unique to Each Town Clerk’s Office

How Long does the License application process take? It has been my Observation that, If the Office is Not Busy , Plan on somewhere between 20- to 30 min , Provided there is good communication and few small If Any corrections are needed at any point along the process. On a good day, with the Online form having been completed, I have seen the process take as little as 15 min..

Keep in mind the Town Clerk’s Office provides many services besides Marriage licenses, Groton, Ct for example , also does Local Shellfish licenses , dog licenses, Birth Certificates as well as the myriad other services listed on their website.

I have been focusing more on doing shorter and more informal Civil ceremonies, because of this I decided to go through my largest reference packet- Vows.

The Full Vows packet is 26 pages with 137 entries, some of which are fairly long.

I pulled out 44 , and did a bit of updating & freshening up of the wording- the short packet is 7 pages .

The assortment still give most couples ample options to review as well as keeping with the shorter ceremonies most of my couples have preferred.

I still have the larger packet available for more formal ceremonies.

I have continued my review of Unofficial Keepsake certificates with an eye toward culling out the less popular and providing some new choices.

I have also acquired a small amount of 2 new shades of “eggshell” aka “parchment” paper for printing

I have made a decision to limit my Travel Range to the Eastern Half of Ct , East of Interstate 91, this saves me both travel time and costs. It saves couples travel cost ( consider what the current IRS mileage rates are). I do have some wonderful friends who are officiants , who reside on the other side of the state.

I continue my regular searches for new page frames and borders for my Unofficial Keepsake certificates, as well as my regular search for new Fonts to use in the certificates.

I also review my certificates for the ones to rotate out and which to keep or make a small change to. What is nice about my certificates being Commemorative Keepsakes is they can be done for anyone who would like something. For all the ones that are not a preset “fill in” form. I can create a custom certificate for anniversaries or other special occasions.

The other materials reviews I do are my reference materials packets, adding, editing, streamlining sections.

Justices of the Peace in Connecticut are appointed for 4 year terms. Each municipality has a limited number of Justice of the Peace slots, the slots are filled by appointment; 1/3 of the slots go to each of the 2 major political parties, the other 1/3 are made by the municipal clerk from the list of applicants. The terms run the same as the President. I am on the reappointment list for the 2025 term.

With the change in Ct wedding officiant regulations, Many of the local Justices of the Peace have More Open Slots in our schedules.

Why use a Justice of the Peace vs a friend or relative with an Instant Ordination? J.P’s are more familiar with the marriage license form and how to complete it correctly. J.P.’s have experience and often a good amount of materials that can help create a lovely ceremony, be that a longer more complex ceremony or something shorter.

Being in a Military Community, we often provide services for Military personnel who want a really short ceremony ” just for the paperwork” ,and then have “The Big One” at a later date and often “someplace else”. These ceremonies can be really fun and delightful to do. I have done a number on the lawn behind our local Town Hall or at the State Park down the road. Just the couple and sometimes a few friends.

Do folks Have to Dress Up to get married- No I’ve done ceremonies for a military couple on the deck of a dive boat. They wore matching Navy Sweats, I wore jeans and a sweat shirt. There were a few ” Shorts and Hawaiian Shirt ceremonies, and a few ” just got off work & need the paperwork for insurance etc, no time to change clothes. Only real requirement is Clothing that can be worn in Public.

Are Rings Required- No. The Ring exchange is a Symbolic Act , that reaffirms the Vows you just made to each other. they are Nice but Not Requires.

Witnesses- the Need for witnesses Varies by State- In Connecticut, Witnesses are Not Required. A witness can be nice – i.e. a friend or family member to take pictures.

in my short list of Symbolic Acts I used to have a Fire Ceremony

as the name implies it involves fire

the most elaborate would be either a circle of small fires or 5 , one at each of the cardinal pints plus the center

needless to say this Could look pretty cool after sunset.

I am going to speak to the issues that can possibly crop up here in my home state of Connecticut.

there Is the issue of loading in all the extra supplies and cleaning up after.

Who is gong to be providing the supplies ( ie firewood, safety supplies)
Who is going to be tending the fires
Who ( I urge more than one person) going to be cleaning up

what are the fire danger conditions

Plus the safety concerns.

other Major considerations are what the sites allow,
if Permits are needed.

for Beach ceremonies :
-many municipal beaches close at sunset
-there may be fees for “groups” using the beach
-fires On the beach may not be allowed ( especially if the beach is used for swimming)

even is some of our state parks – ground fires are not permitted


sometimes it my be better to be more symbolic
and use a circle of tea lights in candle holders

Just thinking

In life all things change overtime

My internet service provider has been bought out by a larger national provider.

so the “tvcconnect.net” email will be defunct at some point

with this in mind, I am transitioning my contact e-mail to

wldecoteau@aol.com

Over the years I have based my craft item pricing mostly cost of materials in the item and used in the construction.

The Time it takes is a whole other ball game
almost all of my drum beaters have ether all or a major art of the bark peeled off. Since I age the sticks before I peel the bark
it takes between 30 and 70 minutes to get he bark off.

Then I sand the sticks, dust them off and apply an oil based wood preservative like Watco’s finishing oil – 1 or more coats depending on the stick.

after the stick is dry- Then I wrap the padding, put on the “T” shirt , “under shirt”

Then I cut & stitch the leather “Skin” for the beater head
next is a soak and stretch out
then pull on ( like a wet bathing suit)
then I let it dry

so my actual working time (doing something) is in excess of 2 1/2 hrs for each beater

time to complete is longer because of drying time

My Prices have pretty much Not Changed for over 5 years
what Has changed is the cost of shipping
I charge a Flat Rate- frequently I “eat” the cost of the packing materials

I do not offer Free shipping because the Post Office charges me for shipping And I usually Offer you the Choice of Priority or 1st Class ( I need to ship priority of the package weighs 13 ounces or more, may happen is multiple beater orders)

I continue to use the US Postal Service either First Class or Priority shipping Insured

I hope to be able to hold my prices through this coming year.

I do enjoy working with the “sticks” and the rest of the materials.

I hope my beaters bring joy to whoever uses them

I have been slowly going through the various sections of both my Civil Wedding ceremonies and my Handfasting ceremonies.

Applying a few tweaks here and there adding some new material.

What I have in mind is how I am best able to assist the couples I work with in expressing how they feel, and together, creating a celebrating that. Whether that is a simple turn of phrase or short quote in a Brief Basic ceremony, or a more elaborate symbolic act or longer readings in a more formal ceremony.

Handfastings can be as simple as a symbolic act or become a bit more elaborate and  be a ceremony within itself.

Commitment ceremonies can be for those people who do not wish to go through the formalities of the “State” recognized ceremony and “paperwork”, but Do want to celebrate their love and commitment to one another .  This type of union lacks the legal obligations, privileges, and protections of a more traditional “Marriage”, but work quite well for many people.

A Commitment Ceremony or Handfasting can be one way to celebrate a more formal

Betrothal announcement.

 

Every now and again I like to revisit all of my reference materials to make adjustments.

something to do during the colder winter months