Wanda L. De Coteau

Random Thoughts and Musings

Topic : Symbolic Acts- in many symbolic acts lists, the title for various Symbolic Acts are called Ceremonies. For Instance candle Ceremony- this is in essence lighting 1 or more candles to represent various things- I have seen from 1 to about 14 candles lit. ( Side note – candle ceremonies really don’t do well Outdoors even in a tall candle holder).

Recently , I had a bride say she wanted the Rose Ceremony for the Entire Wedding Ceremony – my only reference was for the Couple to Exchange roses. I found some actual Full ceremonies on various sites. For this case, being an In The Town Hall elopement I made some adaptations. I currently , Now have a Full Rose ceremony , and 2 variations on Scripts for Rose exchange symbolic acts – one variation has a short paragraph the couples each read, the other, more streamlined the couples each have but 1 line.

IAs a result of this , I have gone through my Symbolic Acts list of Types to change out the Word Ceremony, to avoid future confusion.

Topic: Unofficial, Commemorative, Keepsake Certificates – In Connecticut, Any Certificate Issued by the Officiant is Not Considered Official by the State of Connecticut. So Any of the lovely Victorian certificates or variations that say “This Certifies” may cause some confusion.

I have gone through All of my Keepsakes changing out the wording to something like ” This Certificate Commemorates that”, or Celebrate that Name and Name were united in Matrimony/Marriage …… , or some variation on that. Also of Note, the Official documents Issued by the Town Clerk’s offices are Certified Copies of the Completed Marriage License .

The Connecticut Marriage license have various sections- the 1st section has the Names and other ID information on the couple , the 2nd the couple’s declarations an name/signature, the 3rd The Issuing Registrar’s block, Municipality, their name, issue date , and return by, 4th- the officiants block- Location of ceremony ( municipality of ceremony needs to be within the issuing Vital Records office area ie same town) , County, Date of ceremony , Officiant name & signature, Officiant Capacity ( Ie Clergy / J.P.) and type of Ceremony ( Civil or Religious). The Final section is completed after the Officiant returns the license to the Town Clerk’s Office- the recording and logging in info- date signature etc.

The Certified copy is a Copy of this record – printed on archival paper and embossed with a Certification Seal & information- In Connecticut , there are not very “pretty”, unlike some other States.

Topic: Time- How much Time de we put in for a 5 min long Elopement Ceremony; That varies greatly for me. I do virtually All of my pre-ceremony communication via e-mail and e-mail attachments. Out Town Clerk’s office now requires Appointments for issuing marriage licenses. With the couples having a date in advance we can do a greater or lesser amount of ceremony planning. I Currently have about 17 Brief Basic Ceremonies that are pre scripted- with advance notice the couple has the opportunity to take one or more of those ceremonies am Customize it so it is uniquely theirs. I also have Service Agreement endeavor to fill in Before the (meet us at day). I have a large amount of reference material available to assist couples with creating a truly unique ceremony for themselves.

I have had longer ceremonies with readings, personal vows and at least 1 symbolic act take only 3 to 4 hours of work– preparing emails, preparing draft ceremonies, completing the paperwork & keepsake. These all had excellent timely communication.

On the other hand, I have had a ceremony ( a 5 min elopement) using a pre-scripted ceremony with a minor variation that has taken 8 to 10hours of attempting to get the information I need ( Like Bride and grooms first names and what particular variation of the ceremony they want to use) . This Is for a 6 day lead time elopement.

Communication , good communication makes any officiant’s job so much easier.